Structure of an average American in order of McDonald's influence

Invention of Fats

Fats was first invented by McDonald’s in 1940.

McDonald’s is a transnational corporation which uses globalisation to redistribute fats from developing countries to developed countries.

Left wing supporters suggests that McDonald’s was established in an attempt to save the developing nations from gluttony. However, the more convincing right wing critics believe that this was not true. They claim that Ronald McDonald used McDonald’s as a tool to satisfy his lust for fat woman. This plan was obviously successful- within a year, America have grown to become twice its original size.

Presence of Fats in Men

Fats in men is near non-existent- or so it may seem.

Fats in males are only present in certain sub-species of men. One such species is the useless bum.

Useless bums are known to selfishly keep most of the fats in men to themselves. More often than not, they stay hidden from the outside world, living a virtual life in front of their computers. These unusual characteristics make outsiders think that normal men do not have fats when in reality, the fats have all been locked up in the basement of a useless bum’s parents’ home.

Presence of Fats in Women

Fats appears to be most noticeable in women, particularly women between the age of 13-19- the teenagers.

This is apparent because teenage women tend to disregard their actual BMI and scrutinise their fats, hence forcing men to agree that they are fat. Such behaviour is usually followed by depression and later becoming Emo.

Despite what women think of themselves, the presence of fats is actually very minute. In fact, most teenage women strive to achieve a body fat percentage that puts them on the brink of death. This fact is usually overlooked by women as they prefer to die rather than look ‘fat’.

On the plus side, this extreme form of low self esteem acts as a pillar of hope for inspiring marketing companies.

Popularity of Obesity

Obesity has become extremely popular over the years. Some have even come to regard fats as their best, if not their only, friends.

Throughout my life, I have always been a loser. I was made fun of by my peers in school and was forced to star in weight gain commercials. However, I have come to accept who I am. After drawing faces on my tummy, me and tummy buddy have become best friends. -Useless Bum

A recent survey has shown that such pitiable symptoms appear in most of the people in the United States and experts believe it is only a matter of time before the entire world suffers the same fate.

Advantages of Obesity

Obesity brings along with it several advantages, more so than one might imagine. Some advantages include:

• Never get old; Obese people die young
• Receive a lot of attention
• Possibility of Anorexia reduced to naught
• Reduced risk of being blown away in a hurricane
• Be treated like a king in your death; Have dozens of men carrying your coffin

With so much to gain and so little to lose, it is no wonder the trend of obesity is picking up pace.

Can’t wait to enjoy the benefits of obesity?

Grab your daily dose of fats at McDonald’s now!

Author’s notes: wow, my blog’s view count dropped to 33 in one day.