What is a short person?

In the competitive world of height, Dwarves stand at the top of the trade in first place.

The issue of height might be a rather sensitive one, but this is not true towards the family of Dwarves. Being called short is not a matter of insult towards these people. As a matter of fact, these people actually consider being called short the equivalent to honouring their race.

The influence of Dwarves have spread so much over the years that even Oxford has agreed that Dwarves are to share the same spot in the thesaurus as the ‘short person‘.

This picture clearly displays short people’s innate fetish for pale women

How does one tell if another person is short?

One can tell a short person apart from an average human by simply visiting a local bar and paying particular attention to the lady with the palest skin. It has been scientifically proven that short people are attracted to pale women. Therefore anyone standing close to the pale woman should be automatically considered short.
However, there are other ways for one to differentiate a short person from the crowd. As a general rule, one is deemed short if he or she coincides with any of the following:

• Has low self esteem
• Strongly attracted to Goths/Ghosts
• Masochists; It is an exotic sight to be able to see a short person not being bullied
• Usually seen being kidnapped and/or held hostage

That’s not all. There are still unsolved mysteries about short people that we cannot even begin to imagine. The difference in height changes our perception of the world entirely.

How does one grow taller?

When we talk about height, what immediately comes to mind are the giraffes. Giraffes are the tallest animals in the world. Why are the giraffes so tall then? It’s all in their method of giving birth, ergo it is only natural for us to follow their example in giving birth.

Giraffes are known to give birth in a standing position and have their calf fall from a height of 2m. This is the obvious reason for the giraffes’ height. Likewise, we should give birth by having our babies fall from a height, but why stop at 2m? With advancements in technology and high-rise buildings, we humans can take it to a whole different level. Give birth at the 10th storey and have your child fall from that height. At this rate, you will be tall in no time!

What should one do when one encounters a short person?

In the event a wild short person appears when one is walking in the tall grass, one has to remain composed. Remember: short people will not attack unless provoked.

Engage the short person in a staring contest until it sleeps before throwing pokeballs at the short person. Patience is the key.