Friends about to have a game of tug-of-war

Friends

Friends are people who share a mutual relationship known as ‘friendship’. This relationship refers to the policy of ‘give and take’ whereby one side gives everything while the other side receives the wealth, pride, intelligence and dignity without giving anything in return. Some prefer to refer to it as the Man-God relationship.

21st Century Friends

‘Friends’ is a popular subculture rooted around social networking with its own distinct way of invading the minds of innocent netizens. As a general rule, people described as ‘friends’ (falling under the influence of MySpace, Friendster and/or Facebook) are often people leading a deprived life who spend most of their time in front of the computer stalking another person online.

However, the innocence of such social networking sites are very questionable. Recent discoveries have lead to worldwide accusations that the subculture of ‘friends’ is in fact a conspiracy by the Goths to eliminate all Emos.

Subcategories

Friends who are willing to meet you in real life

This is the group of ‘friends’ that are most sought for. This group branches out into numerous other categories:

• Wealthy friends
  Friendship bonuses include: Lending of money, lending of cars, lending of house, lending of money, funding for drugs, lending of money
• Good looking friends
  Friendship bonuses include: Getting drunk leading to a memorable experience, sleeping with attractive siblings, access to clothes worth selling on eBay
• Feeble friends
  Friendship bonuses include: Personal slave, lending of girlfriend/boyfriend, lending of spouse, begging for money (removing limbs work very well for this)

Human and Animal's friendship at its finest

Other Variations

Friends sometimes also refer to animal’s relationship with man. Indeed, animal has been experimenting friendship with man ever since the start of time:

Humans and animals have always had a mutual friendship. In fact, animal friends were once kept in round metallic red-white spheres and humans summoned them by yelling “____, I choose you!” These animals will then fight each other with special powers such as tail whip, growl, struggle, gay propaganda, throwing of bibles, blog flaming and self-destruct.

This relationship has widely remained the same over the years.

Author’s notes: May not be able to blog any time soon.