So… My friend has been telling me to blog about work the entire day so I guess I’ll do it. After all, it’s a refreshing new change from the usual satirical articles I usually write. (Not to insult anyone’s intelligence but apparently some people think they are facts. Wow.)

As I was saying, I got a part time job yesterday(!) although I’m unemployed now. My job was to wrap some pathetic oval stickers around green apples for Starhub. I heard the apples are to be distributed to innocent passers-by in Orchard, so if you happen to pass-by Orchard and a not-so-innocent kid forced to wear a T-shirt with a Starhub logo managed to push an apple into your hands, you know what not to do. Of course, this is with the assumption that you are a regular person, leading a regular life, with a regular family and you do not want to die of food poisoning after consuming an apple sponsored by Starhub in Orchard Road any time soon.

Anyhow, the working conditions were horrible! I had to work under the constant threat of experiencing hazardous injuries. I’m practically risking my life with work. Furthermore, worker welfare is given very modest attention to. The employer selfishly refused to give me medical compensation when I suffered a life-threatening paper cut when peeling off stickers too fast. It was almost like a sweat shop in the warehouse I was working at -exactly like a sweat shop, except that we were paid more money than usual, and a huge fan was facing us the entire time me and my friends were seated in a circle engaging in a casual conversation, and we are not given quotas at all.

Speaking of casual conversations, after one of those casual conversations abruptly ended when our employer came over to check on us, I drifted into deep thought (staring into space) when I tried to sleep with my eyes open. That was when it struck me. X-Ray vision is possibly one of the most stupid superpower one could ever wish for; you’ll just die from insomnia.

At any rate, as you might have already guessed, I got paid for being useless. Okay, so I don’t get as much money for being useless as an unemployed British citizen does, but I got paid nevertheless.