Hey Scrin, I haven’t seen you in a while so I thought I should write to, you know, ‘catch up’. Uhh… Yes, that’s it- I just wanted to catch up.

Amy looks so cool. Looked so cool.

Is your car gone?

Anyway, you know your car? Yeah, that red Merce you call Amy. Have you noticed that it has been, like, absent recently? It seems like it is no longer in your garage any more. You know, that’s interesting because I noticed it is missing too. I mean, this is so mysterious. It should be one of the 7 wonders of the world. Well, about that… You see, there has been this mix-up which resulted in your car being lost and I had a very small, minute part to play in it’s disappearance. Well, yeah, maybe it was kind of like partly my fault and stuff. Kind of.

I decided to borrow your car for a little while

I really didn’t mean for it to happen. My friends and I were out drinking when Dave thought: “Hey, let’s go, like, drink driving, man. That has got to be, like, cool.” We were just about to drop that thought because we didn’t have a car when I sort of suggested that we could borrow your car. I mean, we are such good buds’, aren’t we? So we went to your place and we wanted to ask you if we could borrow your car, but it was 2am in the morning and you were all asleep and stuff. In the end, we decided that we should just borrow it and tell you about it later.

Oh yeah, your garage door was faulty and we couldn’t open it. It was like it was locked or something. But don’t worry about that, we fixed that up real good for you. Well, it was kind of my idea to blow it up. But yeah, you don’t have to thank me for it. It’s all cool. Oh, and your car couldn’t make it’s way out of the door. The door was too narrow apparently. How do you get your car out of that place anyway? Well, you don’t have to worry about that any more, we fixed that too.

Look at how cool lions are. You know what would be even cooler? Yes, a lion in a car!

I decided to pick up a lion

Since your car is cool and all, I thought I should let a lion ride with us cool kids. I mean, having the king of the jungle ride in your car would give it so much more cool points. Well, we know you’d be too much of a coward to do it so we helped you bring the lion in. Since it is your car and all, I’ll let you brag about it in school. But only this once. Anyway, the lion was so cool. It was roaring and stuff, and it even tried to attack us. In fact, it sort of did attack us. It kind of pounced on Dave and it was even giving Dave love bites. Oh yeah, Dave told me not to tell anybody but after what he has done with the lion, I’m pretty sure it is okay to let the cat out of the bag- he is gay. Dave was laughing in happiness throughout the trip. Or was it screaming in agony… Hmm?

I drove your car off a cliff

Okay, don’t freak out when you read this. So yeah, I kind of drove your car off a cliff. They call it the cliff of no return, but look at us, we have returned. We have, like, defied the law of words. Hahaha! Haha! Hahahaha!!!

Jokes aside, it wasn’t really my fault I drove it off the cliff. You see, the lion kind of attacked me after it was done with Dave and my buds’ and I decided that the only way to get rid of the lion was to drive off the cliff. Call me a genius, but I did just that and it worked. We plunged vertically downwards and we kind of lost our consciousness somewhere during that time. But there is good news! I am alive right now. I know, it’s a blessing right?

When I woke up though, there were bones and blood everywhere and the lion was gone. Mysterious isn’t it? But not as mysterious as your car being missing as well. Anyway, the point is your car went missing somewhere between the time I lost consciousness and regained consciousness.

I set fire to your car

Come to think of it, maybe your car really wasn’t lost after all. I found your car somewhere in my vicinity and saw that it was covered in gasoline. Then I had like, the coolest idea. I mean, this was like a once in a lifetime opportunity- how often do you see so much flammable liquid in one place? Well, yeah, so I got out my lighter and decided to torch the whole piece of metal. Then I saw the most awesome fire in my life. It almost looked like a fire atop a car. That’s like so cool. You should try that some day.

So, yeah, actually it was kind of my fault that the one and only thing that made me envious of you is gone… Sorry about that, dude.

Yeah, so give me 10 dollars and we're even.

Remember the other time when you ate all my candy?

Well, I feel kind of guilty that I your car is gone and all, so I’d let you off the hook with eating all my candy the other time… Okay, maybe not- I’d give you this huge discount and let you off the hook if you just pay me 10 dollars. Ahh, shucks… Don’t mention it. What are friends for?