Author’s notes: Haven’t written a good post in a long time. =D

Misrelationships

Relationships are a common occurrence in the world of homocide. It is only natural for teenagers to get into a relationship (or more) to have the joy of aborting babies. However, all good things have to come to an end. Coincidentally, all break ups come in the form of one of the following scenarios:

-Your girlfriend dumped you for another guy who apparently consumed more steroids than you
-Your boyfriend dumped you for another woman who is more ‘silicon-sculptured’
-Even worse, your boyfriend has left you for another man and he claims that ‘she’ is hotter than you

These scenarios mark the time for you to prove yourself worthy of your ex’s love. The time for you to follow the guide of salvation has come.

Step 1: Communication is the key

Many people believe that the best way to get back with your ex is to get into another relationship to make your ex jealous. This is wrong! The best way is through communication.

The most effective way of communicating with them is through msn messenger. Msn allows you to hide your pitiful state while still being able to show you really care. It is advisable to spend between 23 to 24hours a day sending messages explaining how much you really love your ex. However, you might want to spend 25hours a day on it because everyone knows the level of your love is determined by the amount of time you spend spamming their message window.

Step 2: Bypassing the communication blockade

Unfortunately, this method may not always be possible. Your ex may even inexplicably block all of your messages. What do you do then?

The wisest thing to do would be to adapt to the situation. Be one with the messenger, exploit it’s loopholes.Yahoo, AIM and Skype are all free and very effective hosts which will help you in your quest to communicate with your ex forever. You should not be deterred by such childish mistakes your ex has made. Show them you really care by repeatedly messaging them even with the obstacles.

Step 3: Get into another relationship to make your ex jealous

Indeed, I have stated that such means is wrong earlier. However, I understand that people would still stubbornly follow the conventional, primitive method of handling breakups.
To satisfy the unethical needs of such people, I would dedicate this short but (hopefully) useful section to help one choose the perfect guinea pig.

For guys:
-Pick a girl who has a wealthy financial background.
-Make sure to insult her less than satisfactory looks often so that she would starve herself and modify her bodily and facial features with plastic surgery

For girls:
-Pick any guy with a background of gangsterism because these people usually have a lower IQ than an average human being
-Date him in a gym and allow him to consume steroids
-Use your charms to convince him to work out

For bisexuals:
Give up. You have no hope.

With your guinea pig ready for action, take regular walks with them outside the corridor of your ex’s house. It’s important to pay particular attention to the time span when you are within your ex’s line of sight. Caress your guinea pig and work the same moves you used on your ex in the past. This would remind your ex of how important you really are to them and they will come crawling back to you in no time.

Step 4: Desperate Measures

Your ex hasn’t gotten back together with you even after all your hard work? It is time to execute Plan B.

Do at least one of the following:
-Wait outside your ex’s house and observe his or her every move.
-Take photos of your ex in secret. This shows them how much you really love them.
-Hire assasins to kill your ex’s new lover. It does not necessarily make him or her come back to you but gives you an edge over your dead competitor.
-Show up outside your ex’s house naked. This gives you a head start against your competitors.
-Call your ex when you are observing him or her sleeping in the middle of the night. Tell your ex that he or she looks really cute while asleep. Be sure to comment on their attire and sleeping habits to show your dedication.
-Give your ex a pleasant surprise. Walk into your ex’s house when no one is around a paste candid photos of your ex all over the walls. This should only be attempted after years of phototaking experience.

Recollections

Remember never to give up hope after any breakup. If you follow this guide, you are almost guaranteed to get back together with your ex. However, your willpower is what eventually drives your ex into a corner. Hard work and dedication is the key to success.