Funny Stories
Dhism
Dhism
Author’s notes: Just a rough draft of my idea of a Merlion story that I’m supposed to do for my group project. Credits to Janna, Zany and Nicholas for the plot.
Morphing the Singing Lion
There once lived a lion named Morphing who was very good at singing. However, he did not have a mane, and was thus always bullied for looking like a lioness. He lived everyday ostracised by his pride, and everyday, he sang to a Tembusa tree to pour out all his sorrows.
One day, Morphing lost it. A screw came a little lose in his head from all the pressure and he started talking to the Tembusa tree.
“Wise old Tembusa,” Morphing cried, “Why must I look like a transsexual? How can I get a mane?”
All of a sudden, the trunk of Tembusa tree started cracking, forming what seemed to be facial features. Then the gap in the trunk began to mouth and voice out the words. “The SingTel mobile customer is currently unavailable-“ The tree paused, “The Deity of the Ocean is busy. Proceeding to troubleshoot. Step 1: Transferring the call to the Devil of Lightning.”
Morphing was in awe. He could no longer sing to the sorrows of transcending gender, but began singing in hopes of a miracle service only an unholy being can provide.
The Devil’s Contract
Then, a deep, booming voice sounded form within the Tembusa tree. “O’ insignificant being, I will grant you your wish.”
The Tembusa tree began to wither as the thunder groaned in the darkening sky.
“But on a condition,” the Devil’s infamous ‘but’ surfaces as he decides to play a practical joke on the feminine Prince of the animal kingdom, “you have to swim to the middle of the Pacific Ocean and scream ‘I am a girly-boy’ three times.”
“Okay!~” Morphing sang enthusiastically.
The Devil of Lightning was shocked at Morphing’s level of conviction and vanished back into his hole in the Tembusu tree.
As soon as Morphing felt that the devil’s presence was gone, he started running towards the southern shore eagerly, hopeful of finally attaining what he has had always wished for.
‘A mane at last! The other male lions will finally stop flirting with me after today. Mark my words.”
The Deity’s Contract
By dawn, Morphing reached the Southern shores of Temasek after getting lost several times in the dense jungle. But then, he encountered a problem – he did not have the ability to swim.
‘Curses! If only I had a fish tail to swim to the middle of the ocean.’ Morphing thought as he began to give up hope.
Out of the blue, a blue mist shrouded Morphing’s vision and the Deity of the Sea appeared in front of him.
“Tembusa left me a voice message. It appears you have been tricked by the Devil of lightning.” The divine being spoke. “But do not fear, I have the perfect solution.”
“Hey wait- no! I don’t want a fish tail. I can swim! Wait! Wait-“
“Too late.”
And hence the lion lost all its limbs and ended up with an unsightly tail.
The Manly Girly-Boy
With his newly acquired asset, the mutant of a lion made his way to the middle of the Ocean. Morphing swished through the relentless waves of the ocean at incredible speed with his strong back tail until his goal was within sight.
What a sight it was – hundreds of animals were gathering about the middle of the ocean, all fighting for a spot in precisely the geographical centre of the ocean – all of which looked out of the ordinary. The ducks hadn’t a beak, the dogs hadn’t ears, the pigs hadn’t noses. The only thing they all had in common was that they had an enormous fish tail attached to their behinds.
‘What freaks…’ Morphing thought as he scorned in disgust.
Morphing wasted no time in pushing his way to the middle of the ocean and roaring ‘I am a girly boy’ at the top of his lungs.
“I am a girly-boy!” The crowd followed in symphony following the lion’s lead. “I am a girly-boy! We are girl-boys!!!”
At that second, a storm of thunderbolts rained down on the girly-boys in the middle of the ocean. When the commotion has settled, Morphing found that he had a mane around his head. In his excitement, he looked around and saw that the other animals, too, had undergone a huge change. All of them grew manes! And all of them were dead. That was when it struck him: He was the only girly-boy left alive. No – he has become a manly girl-boy.
Double-Double-Cross
Morphing swam back to Temasek in high spirits. The thought of finally being accepted into the pride was a euphoria he has always longed for. Unfortunately, at the shores of Temasek, he encountered another obstacle in the way of his pursuit of happiness. He realised that he could not walk on land, as he hadn’t any limbs.
Morphing cried as he realised his hopes were dashed. The sky turned grey almost as if a symbol of contempt of sorrow as the lone lion sang his sorrows out by the shore.
Then, Morphing was struck by lightning.
“Argh!” Morphing groaned as he cursed his jinxed life. “Why am I so unlucky?”
Then, Morphing was struck by lightning a few more times. Then, the Devil of Lightning appeared before him.
“That’s weird, he didn’t die.” The Devil eyes widened in shock. “Oh well, it doesn’t matter now.” He decided after looking at Morphing’s sorry state before disappearing into thin air.
Just then, a local doctor noticed the commotion and had rushed to the scene. There he saw Morphing in his near-death state, and he realised what he had to do. Without hesitation, he put his medical equipments aside and began erecting a humongous sculpture atop the fallen freak of a lion and named the sculpture the ‘Merlion’.
When Morphing finally woke up, he realised that he was stuck within the gigantic structure. He struggled to break out of his predicament, but to no avail. Without his limbs to help him, he couldn’t move.
All Morphing could do was to spit from its mouth into the ocean in hopes of getting the attention of the Deity of the Ocean so that he could magically reclaim his limbs. The Deity of the Ocean was annoyed at this display of utter disrespect, hence asked the Devil of Lightning to ‘tie up the loose ends’.
And so Morphing was worshiped as the legendary Merlion who is constantly under attack by lightning. And spits a constant stream of water.
END
August 5, 2010 - 5:58 pm
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