Spain emerges victorious with only minor casualties

SINGAPORE: Following the results of Spain’s 1-0 win against Holland in the FIFA World Cup, parrots all around the world are being hunted to near extinction.

In a reliable announcement issued by The Dhism Times, it said that this global phenomenon was the direct result of Singapore’s ‘Mani the Parakeet’s’ inaccurate prediction of Holland winning the World Cup.

Flash mobs of varying sizes all over the world are starting to rampage through bird parks and nature reserves to slaughter every parrot in sight. At the rate the parrots are being killed, it is estimated that parrots will be extinct by the end of the week. The National Bird Protection Dutch Committee classified this as an emergency code green genocide.

Environmental Activist and known Dutch Supporter Shanice voices her opinion, “It just can’t be helped. The parrots are starting to disrupt the natural flow by lying to us with their false predictions. It just can’t be helped. They have to die. Can’t be helped… It just cannot be helped…”

Because of Singapore’s lack of guns, this movement proved to be an unwelcome challenge for Singaporeans as they had to make do with killing parrots with mere knives. Unfortunately, this has lead to several casualties when civilians slaughter each other in their futile attempt. The total death toll has amounted to a total of 343 people and counting.

Social experts claim that the people only had themselves to blame for believing in birdbrains. The so-called experts are still in the process of having a little talk with angry mobs with torches and knives.

This is only the latest of the two most shocking casualties attributed to the World Cup. The first being North Korea’s 23 player purge as a result of being pummelled 7-0 by Portugal.

On the other hand, ‘Paul the Octopus’ is being hailed as the better animal for accurately predicting Spain’s win in the World Cup Finals. The UN is currently holding talks to ban the sale of Takoyaki in the name of Paul and his brethren. Definitely a stark contrast to the way his feathery friend is being treated.